Showing posts with label Lemuria. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lemuria. Show all posts
Tuesday
1
Session 1 (4/9 – 8.44 a.m.):
mirrors were forbidden in the royal household
so princess tela had never seen herself
could she in fact have been said to know herself
lacking as she did that necessary self image
that sense of what can be seen through anothers eyes
of course she had seen other girls
the servants and ladies in waiting
who surrounded her at all times
she had to imagine she looked like one of them
waking this day unusually before dawn she
2
Session 2 (6/9 – 8.37 a.m.):
the rumble of the earthquake woke her a little before dawn the glass of water at the head of her bed was still vibrating with a single ringing tone as the walls and beams of the palace creaked and groaned under the strain slipping out from under the smooth lion skin naked as she was born she walked to the window and stared out over the troubled city the darkness was broken here and there by flames screaming voices she couldnt be sure but she suspected one of the watchtowers had fallen there seemed to be some shift in the ridges of darkness which were all she could see in the penumbra
she felt on edge disturbed her nerves unnaturally alert thats how it generally was of course one couldnt simply turn over and go back to sleep after one of these events it was worse during the day in any case then one could sometimes feel the tremor approaching like a wave of upheaval rushing across the land smooth and irresistible all one could do was brace for the shock and wait till it was over
dont show fear that was the most important thing dont show fear that was what her father had told her not long before he died we have a position to safeguard people look up to us if any of us ever loses control then the others will too father never lost control not even when the mountain spewed flame that last time not even when he marched towards the lava flow holding the whip and flail he died like a king thats what they said about him shed only been a little girl at the time but she still remembered the spurt of hot tears blinding her at the last minute she hadnt turned her head away though that was what theyd been emphasizing to her for days you mustnt turn your head away so shed seen him die seen the lava grind across him as nonchalant as it was pitiless but the next day it stopped the day her uncle was anointed the new king
she shook her head this was no time to rake up those old memories only yesterday shed been telling herself that it was time to grow up take more interest in the conduct of the kingdom otherwise it might be truly said her father had died in vain as for her uncle she shuddered thinking of his bloated hateful face those fat white hands tufted with bristles shed learnt to avoid those hands ever since shed realised he wanted something from her not just to marry her off to one of her cousins consolidate the kingdom for himself and his family of toad like children but something unutterable for himself
dawn was beginning to break now over the harbour rim lighting up the docks and cranes the little ships moored out in the channel it was a rare day now that passed without a tremor of some kind so people had learned to live with them ships would
3
dart in to unload but they never stayed tied to the wharf a moment longer than necessary there were a few signs of damage down there but nothing too extensive so far as she could see only yes one of the ten watchtowers had fallen leaving a gap in the walls high up on the mountainside she shivered in the cold wind on her bare flesh time to get dressed if she delayed much longer the whole palace would be awake and shed be caught in another day of ritual observances somehow this day seemed made for more than that she had to get out talk to someone see fresh things
the trouble was all her clothes were made for the palace tight bodiced gowns that left the arms and breasts bare sweeping down to the floor in clotted folds she had a cloak though and an old athletic tunic left over from the days when shed been allowed to exercise out on the fields with the boys shrugging it over her shoulders she thanked her stars her hair had been cut short a few days before all her long locks cut off and burnt before the goddess a sacrifice they called it but it had left her looking like a boy
out in the street the day had already begun pedlars were selling spiced meats on skewers they smelt so good for a moment she regretted her breakfast waiting for her back in the palace but then shed have missed this sense of bustling purpose these thousands of faces clustering together gossiping trading insults the lively tangle of a hundred alleys
it had been surprisingly easy to sneak out of the palace perhaps it was because the whole complex was designed to keep people out all the guard towers and arrow slits faced outwards and shed known for years there was a hidden exit from the garden some of the servants used it when they had secret errands to run it was guarded of course but that just meant waiting till the guards attention was distracted in this case by some of the servant girls splashing and giggling naked as needles in the shallows of the fountain
where should she go her original plan had extended only as far as getting out of the palace out from under her uncle and his schemes shed thought perhaps of checking out the earthquake damage looking at the damaged tower but now she began to realise that that was where all eyes would soon be turned better to go anywhere else if she was keen on not getting caught the steep streets sloped down to the harbour so that was the way her feet had instinctively been taking her perhaps after all that was the best way to proceed
unutterable toad – clotted or fresh – the best way to proceed
Thursday
18
Session 8 (13/9 – 8.32 a.m.):
the harbour side was a mess it was difficult enough to make your way through the crowds of sailors stevedores sightseers and vendors at the best of times but today the heaps of fallen masonry and tangle of broken nets and machinery made it more like threading a labyrinth than strolling along the quay
in all the confusion tela hardly noticed the scuffle going on directly in front of her until a large calloused hand reached out and grabbed her by the arm
not so fast laddie give it back
shocked at the unexpected contact tela said nothing but tried to pull away the mans grip tightened he was big and fat with a black beard and looked extremely angry by now the crowd was beginning to form a circle around them eager to watch the free show
give it back i said
give back what i havent taken anything she blurted out
you wont mind being searched then will you said the man as the crowd roared with laughter two others had pushed forward by now to hold her arms more securely
no you cant but his hands were already groping through her tunic looking for whatever it was his purse a ring maybe nothing at all perhaps he was just trying it on
in any case she could see his eyes widen as the hands worked their way inwards to her skin what the youre no boy
his piggy eyes gleamed with astonishment now was her chance before he began to see the possibilities she brought her foot up as hard as she could right into his groin her cousins had taught her that one and shed learned the lesson well
the eyes clouded over with pain as he subsided into a heap the other men loosened their grip on her arms for a moment in surprise and she wriggled out of their grasp leaving half her tunic behind
quick this way she heard a voice in front of her as she darted into the crowd moving as fast as she could to duck the grasping hands there was a girl standing
Wednesday
19
over by the entrance to an alley beckoning her on no time to calculate she ran as fast as she could in that direction
youll need something better than that to wear
theyd ducked and turned their way down street after street pursued at first by the baying of the crowd but then as the streets began to get darker and smaller and the roofs were closed in by nothing but the buzzing of flies and occasional glances from the darkened windows above them
now they sat in a little square far away from the waterside panting and catching their breath with the aid of some water from the deep cold well
telas clothes were indeed in a state shed lost a sleeve and part of the side of her tunic in the scuffle and the unwieldy garment threatened to come off at any moment revealing all her companion with a cloak and band around her hair could at least claim to be covered im sabra by the way she continued holding out a hand in greeting
tela took the hand im tela thanks for thanks for saving me back there
oh thats okay i know those men they make a disturbance and while everyone in the crowd is watching the show the rest of the gang picks their pockets they have some little children trained for that ive seen it lots of times
what would have happened to me if you hadnt come along
oh they would have called the guard and had you taken to prison it was only when he saw you were a girl disguised as a boy that he really got interested though i guess they started thinking about ransoms and rewards
tela shuddered she could see her escape had been even narrower than shed realised her companion lithe and blonde perhaps a couple of years younger than she was looked back at her good humouredly so are you going to tell me
tell you what
who you are what youre doing out here when you clearly dont know your way around just how bad the trouble is youre in
20
tela laughed she could see her new found friend would not be satisfied with anything less than the truth had she in truth ever before been able to speak to someone unguardedly without calculating the percentages
a friend of mine lives nearby hell help us im sure the main thing is to get you out of those clothes and out of sight
sabra had not seemed at all shocked by telas story beyond nodding her head once or twice when the other girl talked about her uncle her fear of him her suspicions about what he was after shed contented herself with stroking a ginger cat whod come stalking up to sit beside them now as the cat preened and reared to have his ears scratched she took things in hand once again
i guess i should go back theyll have noticed im gone by now
go back like that they wont believe you even if you find a guard who recognises you youll be beaten within a inch of your life i bet
i wont get beaten im never beaten im the princess
theyll beat you this time princess dont you see what youve done if you disappear now theyve got the perfect pretext no id lie low for a bit before you even think about getting back inside
tela couldnt deny the logic of sabras argument it was not a view of the matter shed ever have taken herself but now she began to see how little interest her uncle really had in her continued presence her only defence till now had been the eyes of the court now outside their jurisdiction she would have to be more cunning than ever before if she was to survive
black & blonde & ginger
calculating – [threading] – the deep well
Monday
27
Session 10 (15/9 – 9.01 a.m.):
strip you must strip for the goddess the girls chorused dancing around her tugging at her tunic one of them darted forward and grasping the bottom of the fabric pulled it up over her head baring her from neck to waist she stood thus blinded with her arms pinioned above her head as another pair of hands tore down her slip and assisted to step out of it they balanced her like a show pony made her stand on one leg and bend up the other as each sandal was removed then they completed drawing off the tunic and someone else removed the pins from her hair stark naked now she fixed her eyes ahead of her at the entrance of the cave
the gentle hands were urging her forwards go on dont be afraid shes waiting for you go down in the cave tela could see no alternative to obedience these white clad girls were frail enough no doubt but together there was no resisting their collective pressure they had no weapons save the power of their will but that was quite enough she stepped forward once and their hands on her relaxed another step feeling out the roughnesses of the dusty ground and her direction was clear
there was a sudden shock as she passed out of the sunlight into the gloom of the cave entrance she was forced to stoop as the entrance shrank rapidly to half her height there was enough light still from outside for her to see that otherwise she might have stunned herself on the low rock lintel every step would have to be groped for though once that feeble illumination was lost the floor too while mainly a smooth rock slab would have to be investigated gingerly if she was not to bruise and hurt herself
shuddering she continued into the dark
after what seemed like a very long time she felt her eyes begin to adjust to the inky darkness her groping hands appeared in front of her like moths and the rough outlines of the cave were somehow perceived before they were felt was that a spark of light ahead she screwed her eyes up tight then opened them again yes it was almost as if there were some little flickering luminescence in the air around her a kind of emanation which was condensing into a flame
she was concentrating so hard on what she felt she could almost see that she momentarily forgot the need to grope for every step the shooting pain of a stubbed toe worked up her leg and tripped her forward she stumbled to stop from falling and volleyed forward into the room
Sunday
28
there was a spinning wheel a stool and a little fire bent round the corner out of immediate line of sight someone had been here that was certain the wheel was strung for weaving and a little kettle hung above the flames
hello she ventured
no reply
im tela i was sent they said that i should come down here and ask you ask you what about me the city my father the futility of her errand began to impress itself up on her sighing she sat down on the stool and began to look around her
it was really quite a cosy little room or alcove she supposed less goddess like than governess and yet those reaching shadows would worry her the cave clearly continued and who knew what might come shambling out of it
in fact staring into one of the corners it was as if she saw an outline within the dark black within black like a heap of rags a spidery form crouched there she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand was it all imagination
she stood and walked nearer certainly there was something there she couldnt be sure what perhaps just old clothes out of sight out of mind
at that the dark on dark opened its eyes
they were blind eyes cave eyes white corneas around a clouded iris sightless as marbles yet they stared in her direction at the scuffle of her naked feet on the cave floor
tela fell to her knees and waited for an answer
well what did she say
it was difficult at first to adjust to the abrupt passage from dark to light from cold to late afternoon sunshine shed been gone most of a day it seemed from what they said the girls clustering around her as she stumbled out of the cave her feet and hands were streaked with blood from the numerous falls and bashes shed suffered on her way back up from below
now she sat quiet and still with a blanket wrapped around her and sabras hand holding hers fast
29
what had she said what had she understood it wasnt clear so many gnomic verses and yet it left behind a kind of sense of what shed come for what shed come to ask
its hard to tell you i have to think to work out more about it
sabras hand was resting on her pussy rubbing erect the little nub of pleasure yes that was good that was the way to do it the kisses travelled lower tela gasped bucked and started to come in her lovers
ontology – which world do I inhabit?
epistemology – what is my place in this world?
if you can’t form new memories
you can still manufacture synapses
in order to discover where you are
to find out where you’ve been you have to be more random
eschew all features of design
open your heart to whatever pours out
Monday
47
Session 13 (18/9 – 8.29 a.m.):
the girls were playing some kind of game tossing a large leather ball to and fro their young bodies sweating and gleaming in the sun tela and sabra sat down in the shade wait here their guide said
he disappeared into the shadowy grove
the girls were chanting each one a new line as the ball reached her one of them a little shorter than the rest was obviously having difficult with the responses hanging onto the ball longer than she should as her lips worked
stop
a commanding voice rang out
They’re practicing for when they play in earnest, for their lives
– S. Baring Gould
Thursday
59
it was like a headache at the back of your eyes before the pain comes but when you know that the slightest move or exertion will bring it on its waiting there imbedded in you and then the waves of nausea come over you until you cant tolerate it any more and feel you have to do something anything cut yourself with a penknife pinch your skin until the nails break through but it comes in waves and then it retreats leaving you able to sit up and breathe again
tela had had it since she was a child before the tremors came she would feel them she tried to tell her nurse about it once only to find the womans eyes glaring at her with superstitious terror and that had put her off
perhaps if her mother had lived her father always seemed too distant too austere to approach with such things shed been so little when he walked into the lava and after that all her feelings were best hidden away when her uncles rule began
sabra listened silently saying nothing telas voice faltered her brown eyes looked deep into her friends looking for some hint of disbelief some instinctive moving away
at length she spoke you say you feel it every time
no not always i only know that when i feel it something is going to happen its hard to be sure when or where but when it comes i feel it feel the release
do you feel it more when its a bigger shock?
i think so yes not bigger but nearer sometimes its just half an hour or so before sometimes a full day
do you feel it now?
no not since the day we met
i think youd better tell them sappho and the others it might come in useful
theyll think im crazy
yes
Wednesday
62
thats the last thing that theyll think all this is crazy if you like this school these rituals the cave theyre all directed at one thing remember that prophecy they talk about the cataclysm if its coming youre going to feel it
do you think thats why we came here
who can say if you believe in that stuff i just think that the earthquakes do seem to be getting worse and who knows where theyll end i cant see all this helping but having you as an early warning device cant do any harm have you noticed those little cage birds people keep around the city the lemurs in the cages over there thats why we keep them but they cant say anything they just look a little sick sometimes before the shock comes you can tell us how you feel
do you think im strange
of course thats why i love you youre a princess im a slumgirl
fisher girl
the strange thing is we ever met at all
im glad we did
som i
the two smiled at each other shyly till tela dropped her eyes she couldnt describe or explain exactly how she felt she only knew that it was a little like her sickness like vertigo and yet this seemed like something she welcomed a sense of the quickening life within her
its safer here among the trees
Tuesday
64
Sabra [ ]
bucking her hips into Tela’s [ ]
They moved off [ ]
whose face was wet with Tela’s [ ]
He grinned at the sight of Sabra and Tela [ ]
sharing his [ ]
Shasta caressed the two [ ]
letting them [ ]
A few moments later, Sabra looked over at [ ]
“I think he needs some [ ]
indicating Micael’s [ ]
“Why don’t you have some [ ]
“Silly.” Tela smiled, “Haven’t you [ ]
“Sorry Tela. You’re [ ]
Shasta smiled, sliding a finger into Tela’s [ ]
“I’m not gay. I love [ ]
Both girls sat up. “Huh?” Tela asked, very [ ]
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Micael laughed. “She’s my [ ]
Shasta [ ]
Tela’s eyes showed great [ ]
But Sabra [ ]
“Atlanteans.” Sabra [ ]
“I love [ ]
Sabra replaces Tela in the dungeon of the sacrifice
Tela awakes to find herself on a ship sailing away from shore
as the land goes down in ruin
Sabra is left standing on the last promontory
as the lava rolls beneath her
& the priests are swallowed up in flame
something like that
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